Well here goes!!!
The maiden blog from the mad cake decorator.
I have been plucking up the courage to type about 'Life after Evie' and here it is.
On 26th December 2009 my Puppy 'Evie' was hit by a car whilst I was walking her with my children. Nothing could prepare me for the depths of dispare that filled me that fateful day. You see we couldn't have our own children so we are in the process of adopting 2 children, and I have always felt a closer bond with Our dogs as they are with me all day and are Our children ( sounds silly to non dog lovers, but anyone that has a puppy can tell you the instant bond that ties you for life).
Anyway 'Evie' was killed almost instantly and died in my arms, the saving grace was that she did not suffer and she wasn't alone ( the down side is that the children were there at the time). We walked home about 1/2 mile, which seemed like an eternal walk, carrying my dearest 'Evie' and trying to keep it together for the children, I am not entirely sure how I managed it, because not a single tear was shed until we reached our driveway then I just collapsed, and the blame started to roll uncontrolably out of my mouth, then hysteria set in. My Neighbour rushed to Our aid and quickly realised what had happened, she scooped the children up and took them inside.
Meanwhile, Barcley came out of the house, he had been at work when we left for Our walk that morning, then everything happened in slow motion the way it does in the movies, and the unshamed cries occured, then my 'Evie' was scooped up and taken from my arms by him and I would never see her again. I was left sitting covered in mud and snow and the smell of a damp dog was left on my clothes, and the stench of death and loss on my hands, this is when the guilt set in. I HAD KILLED HER!
Barcley is the gentlest man alive and although he too was grieving and in shock he came back after about 10 minutes. He had wrapped 'Evie' in her blanket so that she would not be cold and placed her in her bed with her toys, kissed her goodnight and then returned for me.
He then stripped me of my clothes and gently bathed me, soothing my pain away as he wiped away the blame. He dressed me in pyjamas and tucked me up, just as a devoted Mother would ( as I should have done for my children), then went to get me a brandy to calm me and help me sleep.
I don't really know what happened for the rest of Boxing day, we were having Family over for leftover Turkey, jacket potatoes and pickles, the children were collected from the neighbours ( I will always feel eternally grateful for her help that morning), the family arrived ( they had been briefed) but not having had Dogs of there own could not understand my pain and solice.
Much to my relief they took over the whole day and let everything wash over me, while I sat in a numbed state a million miles away in my own thoughts and reminisences.
'Evie' was 8 months old when she died, she was born on the same date as my Mother-in-law 'Eveline' who had long departed, but I hope as a dog lover she will be taking good care of my liitle girl, as those of us that are left continue Our 'Life after Evie'.
The maiden blog from the mad cake decorator.
I have been plucking up the courage to type about 'Life after Evie' and here it is.
On 26th December 2009 my Puppy 'Evie' was hit by a car whilst I was walking her with my children. Nothing could prepare me for the depths of dispare that filled me that fateful day. You see we couldn't have our own children so we are in the process of adopting 2 children, and I have always felt a closer bond with Our dogs as they are with me all day and are Our children ( sounds silly to non dog lovers, but anyone that has a puppy can tell you the instant bond that ties you for life).
Anyway 'Evie' was killed almost instantly and died in my arms, the saving grace was that she did not suffer and she wasn't alone ( the down side is that the children were there at the time). We walked home about 1/2 mile, which seemed like an eternal walk, carrying my dearest 'Evie' and trying to keep it together for the children, I am not entirely sure how I managed it, because not a single tear was shed until we reached our driveway then I just collapsed, and the blame started to roll uncontrolably out of my mouth, then hysteria set in. My Neighbour rushed to Our aid and quickly realised what had happened, she scooped the children up and took them inside.
Meanwhile, Barcley came out of the house, he had been at work when we left for Our walk that morning, then everything happened in slow motion the way it does in the movies, and the unshamed cries occured, then my 'Evie' was scooped up and taken from my arms by him and I would never see her again. I was left sitting covered in mud and snow and the smell of a damp dog was left on my clothes, and the stench of death and loss on my hands, this is when the guilt set in. I HAD KILLED HER!
Barcley is the gentlest man alive and although he too was grieving and in shock he came back after about 10 minutes. He had wrapped 'Evie' in her blanket so that she would not be cold and placed her in her bed with her toys, kissed her goodnight and then returned for me.
He then stripped me of my clothes and gently bathed me, soothing my pain away as he wiped away the blame. He dressed me in pyjamas and tucked me up, just as a devoted Mother would ( as I should have done for my children), then went to get me a brandy to calm me and help me sleep.
I don't really know what happened for the rest of Boxing day, we were having Family over for leftover Turkey, jacket potatoes and pickles, the children were collected from the neighbours ( I will always feel eternally grateful for her help that morning), the family arrived ( they had been briefed) but not having had Dogs of there own could not understand my pain and solice.
Much to my relief they took over the whole day and let everything wash over me, while I sat in a numbed state a million miles away in my own thoughts and reminisences.
'Evie' was 8 months old when she died, she was born on the same date as my Mother-in-law 'Eveline' who had long departed, but I hope as a dog lover she will be taking good care of my liitle girl, as those of us that are left continue Our 'Life after Evie'.
it really does feel better getting rid of this huge burder that has been on my shoulders for 1 month.
But happy news 'Hollie' is here an 11 week old Cairn terrier replacement puppy.
What a bundle of Carefully wrapped in Cotton wool Joy she is too!
Posted by: Samantha Cardy | 01/29/2010 at 12:13 PM
'Hollie' is now 12 weeks and the scars of the Christmas past are healing, everything is getting easier now, and 'Hollie' is growing as fast as 'Digby'.
Posted by: Samantha Cardy | 02/02/2010 at 10:02 AM